I hate everything, everyone.......they makes me feel that im NOTHING....shit!!

I thought having lots of friends helps me to move on and overcome my depression but its NOT, unless they makes me feel worst and more depress..... i know i've done wrong things lately (work, personnal things), or let say is not that wrong, im just depending myself and clear to them but they mis-intepret everything, and they judging me that easy without even knowing the real me.. even in work, aarrrrgggggg....ok now i'll prove to everyone that i can do those things without them.. i even hate myself for being affected that easy 'coz it makes me really bad, all i want now is to cry and cry and cry and cry.. :(( ...(it helps me to ease the pain) as if everything will back to normal if i do that..

Yeah, i looked ok, i smile, laugh with those jokes and go out with them but deep inside IM NOT OK....really not ok....i don't know what's going on but that's what i feel...no one knows what i feel, 'coz no one understands me...